Are You Quiet Quitting at Home?

Quiet quitting has been getting a lot of attention lately. There’s much debate over what exactly it is, but basically it describes someone who is doing the minimum amount of work required. Some argue that this is a healthy boundary, and while I absolutely promote healthy work-life boundaries, I think quiet quitting comes from a different place. It comes from a place of unrest, dissatisfaction, and lack of engagement.

Quiet quitting happens in the workplace. It probably always has. Quiet quitting also happens at home, but it is rarely talked about. I don’t just mean it happens when you work from home or have a home office. Quiet quitting at home happens when you stop caring about your personal life, lack interest in your housework, and disconnect with your family and friends.

Whether at work or at home, quiet quitting might be intentional, but it might be happening without even realizing it.

What are some of the signs that you might be quiet quitting at home? Here are some things to watch out for:

Spending Time on Your Phone

How much time do you spend on your phone? If you find yourself preferring to sit alone and look at stuff on your phone, you are probably disengaging from your home life. Screen time is definitely addicting, and like so many other addictions, it can cause a lot of harm.

Spending time on your phone can be a sign of quiet quitting when the people in your life start to feel ignored, when you stop having real in-person conversations, when you slowly give up hobbies, or when you neglect responsibilities.

One way to check yourself is to use check Screen Time (on iPhone) to see your usage as well as schedule downtime and set limits for yourself. I also like to set my phone somewhere off to the side when I finish my workday so that I don’t pick it up out of habit or boredom.

Neglecting Your Responsibilities

There are many aspects of home life that are not a lot of fun: washing dishes, doing laundry, dusting, cleaning toilets, taking out the trash, paying bills. We all have things we would rather be doing. It’s normal to put things off from time to time, but it’s not normal to neglect these responsibilities for more than a few days.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by household responsibilities, figure out why:

• Is too much responsibility resting only on you?
• Has too much piled up?
• Do you not know where to start?
• Do you feel like you don’t have time to take care of it all?

You need help! If there are multiple people living in your household, they all need to pitch in. You can also consider hiring someone to help you, even if it’s just one time to help you get back on track. My husband and I decided several months ago to hire a woman to come clean our house once a month, and it has been a huge stress reliever to me.

You also need a good system for managing your household. Get the “Real Mom’s Starter Guide for Managing Real Life” for a checklist of ways to make your days more productive and less stressful!

Saying “I Give Up” or “Nevermind”

Quiet quitting is often a slow process of giving up, so if you find yourself saying “I Give Up” or “Nevermind” on a regular basis (even if you’re saying it to yourself), it probably means you’re in the process of checking out.

The first thing to do is ask yourself “Why?” Why are you giving up? Do you feel unheard or unseen? Is it just too much effort?

Next, ask yourself, “How can I take the next step?” Are you struggling to get your kids to obey? Do you wish your family would help out more around the house? Are you tired of arguing with your spouse about money?

Instead of giving up on the situation, figure out how to just do the next thing. You don’t have to fix it all right now. You just need to choose your next step, even if the next step is to walk away for a moment. The difference is that it is a choice to try again later, not a feeling of surrender.

Keeping a Full Schedule

Sometimes quiet quitting at home goes unnoticed because it’s the result of an otherwise busy life. When your schedule full of planned activities (sports, dinners, work projects, etc.), there is no room for you to be fully present at home because you’re rarely actually at home.

Time at home matters because it should serve as base camp for your family. Home should be a place of rest, comfort, and stability. Home should be where you want to go when you don’t feel well or you’ve had a long day. It should also be where you want to go to share great news or celebrate a big win.

I understand that not everyone has a home like this, and I also know that no one’s home is perfect. If your circumstances at home make it an unsafe place to be, please seek help for that. But if your home is a safe place to be, your family needs to put in the effort to make it a place worth being.

If you are used to having a full calendar of events, it’s time to create some margin in your schedule. To get started, plan to have at least two evenings each week at home–eat dinner together as a family, work on a project together, have your kids help do the laundry, etc. Start making home a place you all want to be.

Quit Quiet Quitting

Life can be busy and stressful and draining, and quiet quitting might feel like the path of least resistance. But it’s not a path to purpose and fulfillment. You were made for so much more than living life with one foot out the door.

When you choose to fight back against quiet quitting, especially at home, you are choosing to live intentionally for what really matters.